As a foodie, I like to compare and rate certain foods and restaurants and make “best of” lists. I often think about what the ideal meal would be, but I’m convinced it would change daily based off of whatever mood I am in. To make things a little more interesting and to force a scenario, I decided to figure out what I would request as a last meal if I were on death row. The constraints seemingly imposed definitely adds a twist.

I think the knee-jerk reaction would be to go with something classy like streak or lobster. But, what I think makes a good steak special is the experience. The steakhouse atmosphere and ritual is as much of a draw as the cut of beef you’re served. Imagining that I’m in a cell and most likely not being waited on by a team of servers, what I would be looking for would be an assortment of comfort food, but in extreme excess. I want nostalgia, sort of like a montage of the most memorable flavors I’ve experienced parading before me in my final hurrah. Oh, and the portions would be huge—one last chance to overdo it, but without repercussions.

Here we go. My last meal would be…

1. 50/50 Burger, made of ground bacon and short ribs, topped with smoked gouda, a slice of fried green tomato, mustard greens and horseradish mayo.

2. Smoked Turkey Leg

3. French Fries, drizzled with truffle oil and topped with a few shavings of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

5. Pizza—2 slices of Old Forge style and 2 slices of brick oven margherita

6. 1 Dozen Oysters on the half-shell

7. Short Stack of Pancakes with Maple Syrup

8. 3 Regular Glazed Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

9. Bulleit Burbon, neat

10. 1 Bottle of Frozen Run Birch Beer

It’s definitely a looooong list, but I think it’s a nice balance and I’d damn sure get it all down. What do you think? Do you know what you would request?

EDIT: I’ve been told that alcohol is not permitted in last meal requests. I say it doesn’t hurt to ask.